A Different Kind of Relationship: A Qualitative Study about the Phenomenon of Flirtationship

This study was conducted by: Chan, R., Chiaoco, M., Couderc, K., Tan, S. and Tangtatco, J.

INTRODUCTION

Flirtationship  is considered to be one of the most evident and prominent kind of relationship nowadays. In relation to this, the group decided to take into account this phenomenon. Since this phenomenon is new to many, the group decided to pursue with the topic due to curiosity because of the growing number of people around the researchers that are involved in flirtationship. In addition to this, the group wanted to be able to contribute to the research academe by being able to provide a framework on the theoretical background of flirtationship. This research paper focuses on the process and benefits of being in a flirtationship. Flirtationship is defined as greater than a friendship but less than a real relationship (Kemmer, 2008). It is a connection with someone who captures your attention but lacks long-term involvement and commitment. On the other hand, Bedi (2012) stated that being in a relationship is not just for fun but it is a serious thing in which you invest your time and effort to stay loyal with your partner. Being in a flirtationship does not require you to stick to only one partner (Lou, 2008). The main reason why people stay in a flirtationship is to have the freedom of having multiple partners. In an article of Moras (2012), the author discussed about the advantages and disadvantages of being in a flirtationship. Some of the advantages of being in this kind of relationship are always having someone who will listen to you, no need for long phone calls and texting, not obliged to give expensive gifts, and lastly there is no actual commitment involved. On the other hand, some of the disadvantages of being in a flirtationship are not having a real commitment and having the guilt of leading your partner on.

METHODS

11 students from different universities participated in the study. 5 of which participated in our one-on-one interview while the remaining 6 participants participated in the focus group discussion. In the data gathering, the researchers first performed a literature review regarding flirtationship. This is necessary to help formulate the questions needed to address the objectives and the research questions of the study. The researchers created a data collection tool, which includes questions for the interview and focus group discussion. After which, the researchers looked for possible participants who are currently having a flirtationship kind of relationship. Interviews and focus group discussion were recorded and transcribed into a written text. A common approach that is used by phenomenology is to extract the themes from the interview strands. The researchers examined each transcript for possible themes to understand the nature of the phenomenon and the participant's personal experiences. The researchers identified significant statements then linked each to a specific theme. Through the use of triangulation, the researchers sorted the data systematically to find and determine common themes by eliminating the areas that overlap. The data reached a point of saturation, where no other themes are emerging.

RESULTS

Table 1.1
The themes presented below answers the question “Why do adolescents opt to be in a flirtationship rather than a relationship?”

Themes	Definition	Exemplar Quote
Unpreparedness in dealing with commitment	Not ready to commit into a serious relationship	“I don’t get disappointed too much and don’t expect much in this relationship.” “It’s like we are just having fun and nothing really so serious.”
Open relationship	The liberty to have as many partners as you want	“Because in a flirtationship you don’t have to be committed to only one person”
Absence of love	No emotional investment is needed to have the relationship	“For me, you can’t fall in love in this kind of relationship.” “Hoping no one starts to fall”
Increases self-concept	Increases the confidence and boosts the ego of a person from the satisfying experience	“happy is not what I feel, it’s being satisfied.” “of course, when I get what I want from a relationship I will feel fulfilled and satisfied” FGD: “flirt for satisfaction” “to boost one’s ego”
Going with the flow	A state wherein not a lot of effort is exerted for a certain situation to happen but just waits and sees for whatever happens.	“- let it be and see how it will unfold” “- you cannot plan out the actual outcome of having a flirtationship”
Fear of getting hurt	No  obligation to invest emotions to avoid hurt.	“less disappointment” “Less heartache” FGD: “if it doesn’t work out, it wouldn’t be that hurtful

This table explains the reasons why adolescents opt to stay in a flirtationship rather a real relationship. Reasons as to which they opt to stay are their commitment issues, the liberty of having an open relationship, the absence of love, an increase in one’s self-esteem, being able to go with the flow and the fear of getting hurt.

Table 1.2
The following set of themes gives the definition and meaning of the phenomenon, which answers the research question, “What is flirtationship?”

Themes	Definition	Exemplar Quote
Involves no commitment	Does not demand for exclusivity, responsibility, disappointments and loyalty	“No commitment, I don’t have to text her everyday, I don’t need to ask permission if I have to go somewhere, I handle my own time.”
Focuses primarily on physical benefits	Expects physical contact from the partner to achieve temporary satisfaction	“Nothing crazy haha we just talk, hold hands or hug things like that”…”watch movies, eat, tell stories, stuff like that” FGD: “puro sarap”, “friends with benefits”
Multiple flirtationship partners	Flirting relationship with as many individuals as desired without having to consider emotional attachment	“a relationship between a number of people” “That’s why it’s called a FLIRTationship, when you flirt and you are a flirt; you don’t have to flirt with only one person, eventually you would end up flirting with others as well.” “Since you guys are not exclusive then why stick to one.”
Just for fun	Doing things out of physical excitement	“A flirtationship feels like we’re just playing” FGD:  “for fun”, “past time”
Temporary relationship	A relationship wherein there are no expectations on being long term	“A relationship that would certainly not last long..something that’s just temporary..like a “spur of the moment.’’
Begins with friendship	Friendship opens the doors to give individuals an opportunity to start a flirtationship	“It starts with being good friends”

This table defines relationship in the context of it being a new kind of relationship. Flirtationship is defined as a relationship which does not involve commitment, focuses on the physical benefits, being able to have multiple partners, it is merely a relationship of fun, it is a temporary relationship and that it begins with a friendship.


CONCLUSION, DISCUSSION, RECOMMENDATIONS

Based on the data gathered from the interviews and focus group discussions, adolescents opt to choose to stay in a flirtationship rather than a relationship, for the reasons that they are not yet prepared in dealing with commitment, they are afraid that they will be disappointed, and they have the liberty to have as many partners as they desire. These adolescents consider flirtationship as a relationship wherein it is something that is not serious, just merely for fun. They defined flirtationship as a state wherein the people involved are not exclusive, have no responsibility for one another’s actions and do not require loyalty. The findings of this study show that a flirtationship is a phenomenon wherein it is a certain kind of temporary relationship that does not involve commitment and emotional attachment due to it being based mostly on physical companionship. The group recommends the future researchers of the study to expand the sample size as it would help in being able to gather more data for the research and lessen the probability of generalized conclusion. Researchers should also include people from different age groups as to have a comparision between them. Future researchers could also take into account other factors such as self-esteem, interpersonal trust, self-confidence, self-concept, and emotional maturation that could affect the stand of the participants through the use of quantitative research.

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